A CALL FOR ARSON POSSIBLY LINKED TO ANARCHIST GROUP

An underground ritual for embittered hearts is quietly sweeping the nation. Ads on craigslist, in the backs of local newspapers, and subculture ‘zines from coast to coast have called for brokenhearted singles to save their Christmas trees. On the Eve of Valentine’s Day, the lonely are encouraged to take to the streets, set up the trees, and decorate with ornaments sentimental of relationships past. When the clock strikes midnight, participants are being instructed to light the trees aflame, and begin their love lives anew. Loveletters, mixtapes, pictures- anything linked to a past with this person, are to be destroyed according to event guidelines. The highly-controversial event was assumed to be a joke when the first ads (anonymously posted) were circulated in mid-November of 2007. By December 4th, a 2^nd round of ads came out, with a name of sponsorship attached and a proclamation that the event is in fact real and will happen. The Black Hearts Society is an international organization rooted heavily in anarchist and collectivist philosophies. Doc BarbaRojo, the society’s president, called a press-conference, at which he stated “This tree burning will symbolize the people’s disdain for the corporate greed that has infiltrated so many elements of what were once beautiful Pagan traditions.” Some skepticism has arose, and understandably so. Most Police Departments have issued official warnings that any acts of arson, regardless of intention, are a Class B felony and will be prosecuted as such to the full extent of the law. “I mean, we all have our baggage with exes, and Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only day we choose to appreciate our loved ones. But seriously- these people are not in touch with reality", voices jewelry designer Ann China. We Believe In Nothing, (WBIN), a Portland-based Nihilist group, claims that the Black Hearts Society was not the original creators of the event. “Those first ads were done by a freak with no ties to a formal organization He is crazy, even by our loose standards. The Black Hearts, lacking in action as usual, liked what they saw and stole the credit”, reported a masked shorter man in a black jumpsuit who calls himself “Sidepony”. These sentiments are not new; there have been a lot of questions surrounding Black Hearts Club activities. Most recently, Saylor Nancyboy was in the media for jumping on the counter of a Long Island Burger King, stripping himself in what seemed to be an erotically-intended dance, and then finally, regurgitating his meal on awe-filled patrons. The Black Hearts Club claimed that the svelt hobo, although a bit grimy, was in fact one of their members committing an act symbolic of his anti-capitalist dogma. When questioned from his cell at Nassau County Jail, Mr.Nancyboy merely began talking incessantly about the difference between energy and matter. The Black Hearts Society has not been officially linked to either the incident with Mr.Nancyboy, nor the christmas tree burning event.